This blog ran for more than two years with no graphics--and it received about 50 page views. I was advised to add graphics; after seeing the huge public that followed blogs dedicated to homoerotic images, I decided to use that kind. The result was a dramatically increased number of monthly page views, and the number has remained fairly steady. Most of the images were found on the internet; although they are assumed to be in the public domain, they are identified as far as possible. They are exhibited under the Fair Use protections of United States copyright law: their function is simply to attract readers to the poems--I receive no economic benefit from them or from the blog. Nevertheless, they will be removed if they are copyrighted and the owner so desires.

Monday, April 14, 2014


Lie #1:  These homophobes know what everybody’s life is like and what goes on inside every one, especially “gays.”  Therefore, ...

Lie #2:  They know that being gay is the result of a conscious “decision,” an immoral “choice.”

Reality #1:  In matters as intimate as sexuality, no one can speak for others—we all know only our own experience.  Any claim to know what others have experienced in this matter is a lie produced by ignorance and prejudiceunless the person making the claim has been through the same kind of experience. 

Reality #2:  My own experience was that I gradually became aware, beginning around the time I started school, that I was attracted to certain members of my own sex, some of whom were older than I was.  I didn’t have a name for it, but I felt that it was there. 

Because I could observe, as time went on, that this was not the majority orientation, not the expected and approved thing; because everyone around me seemed to pair with a person of the opposite sex—my parents, close relatives, the neighbors and the community; and because this was constantly reinforced not only by the hetero-normative and even homophobic behavior and talk of everyone around me, but also by radio, films, books and newspapers and magazines, I half-consciously began to hide my orientation.  And of course I was assisted by occasional demeaning comments and attempts at bullying made by other kids.

That was my only “choice”: the decision to hide my real self.

I say “half-consciously” because I didn’t know what sexuality or gender was.  I didn’t know what adults know.  I only felt that my attraction was not the expected,  accepted thing.  I chose to hide my reality because I could feel that it made me different in a way that alienated me from the group and made me vulnerable. 
I infer that my case is typical because every reliable source available to me—every gay person that I have talked to or heard on radio, television or the internet, every article written by a gay person—says  that their experience was the same as mine: that they did not “decide” their sexual orientation; it was not a “choice” for anyone.  (This inference, in terms of logic, is “induction;” it is based on the ability to perceive similarities.) 

Further, judging by my own adolescent and adult experience, I believe that no one would freely choose to belong to a despised and persecuted minority.  

In fact, sexual orientation is a self-discovery, in some cases (like mine) accompanied by feelings of shame and fear.

And, in fact, no heterosexuals that I know of have ever suggested that their sexuality was a “choice” or “decision” either—they all take it for granted as something expected, not needing comment.  Those that I have heard tend to comment on the adventure involved, and of course on their sexual prowess.  
My experience and the evidence available to me suggest, then, that not only gays but also heterosexuals become aware, at some point, that they are attracted to a certain sex or gender, either their own or the other.  (Or perhaps to both; this would make them bisexual.)

It is, apparently, something we all discover about ourselves.  Challenge any heterosexuals to explain when they “chose” and how they “decided” that they were were attracted to the opposite sex; when I do this, they say only that they “just knew,” or felt an attraction to someone of the opposite sex; some of them relate the discovery to a particular moment, or person, or incident; some do not. 

So what evidence do ignorant homophobes like Sheba, Amber and Jeff have, for obsessively insisting that sexuality is a “choice”?  

These ignorant and prejudiced homophobes claim that the evidence that gays “decide” their sexual orientation is the fact that gays announce their orientation, while heterosexuals do not.  (This is Lie #3.)

Reality #3:  The real reason for this “gay behavior” is obvious to anyone capable of rational thought about human behavior: No one announces what is already expected and clearly visible to everyone around them (in this case, their heterosexuality).  A heterosexual male will announce the conquest of a new girlfriend—but not the obvious fact that he is heterosexual (except for locker-room jockeying for the Alpha-male image).  Likewise, a heterosexual female will announce the acquisition of a boyfriend, but not the obvious fact that she is heterosexual.

Gays do not have this security.  Because of the immense hostile social pressure exerted by the majority against them, all but a few courageous gays have been reluctant, until quite recently, to expose themselves to the marginalization and violence that often result from their revealing the truth about themselves.  Gays are put in the position of having to justify, to a hostile and violent homophobic majority, that they deserve the same respect as other human beings.  

But when gays feel that it is safe for them to express themselves on a controversial issue that directly affects their lives; when they can contribute to overcoming a cruel prejudice, grounded in the most primitive superstition, that has killed and is still killing many innocent people; above all when they feel that they can communicate the truth about themselves, and in the process enlarge individual liberty for all personsthen they will share their experiences and their reality with others.  They will “come out of the closet.”  But that is not the announcement of a “decision”—it is a revelation, to their community, of what the gay person had discovered some time earlier and hitherto kept secret for reasons of personal safety and survival.

So why, in spite of this obvious reality, do ignorant homophobes need to destroy people simply on the basis of a difference in sexual orientation?  
Their bigotry and hatred produce the following justification:  “Gays are  perversely, willfully evil, they violate the law of God, and they are destroying our society; therefore we must protect ourselves and our children against them by isolating and exterminating them.”   
(This is Lie #4.)  

Reality #4: Homophobic bigots seem to want to appear reasonable; they seem to want to appear to have a justification, theological as well as social, for their hatred, their need to hurt and annihilate others.  And apparently they want to enjoy feeling superior, to act out, to exercise, this feeling.


It must feel so good to triumph over something or someone that you hate and despise.  In other words, it must feel so good to be a bully, and know that you yourself are safe!  
This is the real evil.  The real evil is the destruction of others because they have a belief or a social relation that is different from one’s own.   
In reality, gays would be evil if they chose, like some fanatical religious groups, to violate the rights or the security of others, to mutilate and kill—but having sex because of a mutual attraction does not fall into that category.  

In addition, it is impossible that a persecuted minority consisting of about 5% of the global population could destroy any human society, unless they used bombs or chemical or biological warfareas certain fanatic fringe groups do—but homosexuals do not do that.

Furthermore, although in some Western countries an “ex-gay” movement claims that people can be converted from homo-sexuality to heterosexuality, no one has ever come forward publicly to claim that a gay person converted him to homo-sexuality.   

So, in reality, “Save the children!” is the cry of the paranoid, or the cynically cruel.   

Unfortunately, although Western society has come a long way toward the tolerance and freedom that allow it to avoid religious wars, we still have a long way to go.  Not all societies have evolved to even a minimum of tolerance.  

One last reality (#5):  From their language, it seems that  Sheba and Amber, if not Jeff too, are African-American—black women.  That someone should have to explain all this to black people in our country, in this century, is deeply disturbing—and is perhaps an indication of their intellectual limitations.